I just love this – the idea of ‘getting to’ is the BEST reframe for doing something required to get where we CHOOSE to go. Before we dig in deep – here’s an everyday example: You want to go to PARIS (insert favorite destination for a well-deserved vacation) and you’re starting to plan. Oh, if it were only so easy as to pick a few dates on the calendar and call your travel agent to finalize plans. Back to reality – you’ve chosen your dates, and you go on-line to get a flight. You find flights on your chosen dates and they’re not ridiculously priced – BINGO, credit card inserted and flights done. Then you spend at least 2 hours online finding a hotel that’s also not ridiculous, in an arrondissement (area) that you can walk and be near sites, restaurants, etc. Then you pack and put the mail on hold and make home care arrangements for your pets, etc. and get your daughter to drive you to the airport. So far, so good. Then you get in line for security and they say your bag is overweight, and you have to take off your shoes to pass through screening. Then they frisk you like you’re crossing the Radcliffe Line (check it out – I was there in 2010 and even though I had a female frisker / aka security guard, yes, you get used to it – it was still something: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radcliffe_Line
So far this post could be an endorsement for why NOT to travel, but that’s not why we’re here – and something I would NEVER support. The real issue is what the heck we tell ourselves when we have to go through all this trouble to do something we WANT to do. Why, all of a sudden, our HAVE tos eclipse our WANT tos, when we’re just trying to get to PARIS darn it! And there in lies the rub. How getting to our goals can become such a PITA – pain in the ass – can be so hard when at first glance, it doesn’t really have to be, does it? Well, yes it does and does not.
So, I wanted to get my PhD and I realized shortly into it (I am a bit naive still, no doubt, but that’s another story) that I could also get licensed as a school/counseling psychologist which means I can do what I’ve done for a long time, but now I can take insurance and offer therapeutic services to a broader spectrum of patients. And that’s all good, right? Well yes, and then I started to study for the licensure exam. And in short order, I am spending 5-6 hours per day – that’s PER DAY, unpaid to do more of what I’ve been doing for over 3 years, so that I can pass a 4.5 hour exam so that I can APPLY – apply my friends, for a license. ARGH>>>> and YAYYY!!! I am learning, again and for the first time, so much about my field that it’s awesome – and when I don’t want to sit my butt down again and again I tell myself (with conviction because it’s true) I am so blessed that I GET TO spend this time studying so that I can pass this exam in one try because I will demonstrate that I have the required knowledge to practice independently, and to be the best psychologist that I can be for my patients.
And so we’ve come full circle – I ‘get to’ and you ‘get to’ do all the steps, the hard things, required to get to where we CHOOSE to go. And if they weren’t worth our effort, we wouldn’t have chosen them in the first place, and if WE weren’t worth the effort, we would have quit a long time ago. So, here’s to GETTING TO and becoming all we can and choose to be, and to going to all the AMAZING places that challenge and excite us – whether or not we get frisked or hassled!!! Bon voyage my friends. I’ll meet you at the baggage claim!!! xoxoxo