What’s behind you sets you free…..February 19, 2020
Yes, it’s true. How does that work, you ask? Well it’s rather simple (though not often easy, as most simple things tend to be). When something difficult is behind us, we often want to be free of it, but sometimes, we’re so attached to what’s behind us that we can’t stop thinking about it (or him, her, or what happened, etc.) that it feels very much right in front of our face. I had this conversation with a patient just today. When we’re feeling the sting (read, loss) of relationship that was meaningful to us, and we’re missing that person and feeling lonely (and can’t do anything about it….they’ve moved to Tennessee, or in some way or another have made it known they’re really gone….) – we have a choice. Our choice is to wallow – feel over and over and over again the loss of their presence – which, by the way is necessary in order to properly grieve, but not for an extended time. So when we notice several months or more after they’re gone that we’re missing and missing, it’s best to NOTICE the missing then – TRANSFORM that feeling into something creative. What’s that? Only one thing can rewire and open us again to what’s next, to use the POWER of those deep feelings to CHANGE. In a word, it is GRATITUDE. We notice our missing that person, then we become and deeply FEEL gratitude for their presence in our life. We begin to acknowledge that because of them, we were able to feel and connect this deeply and for that we are thankful, grateful, joyful. In the process of this transformation, it’s like adding fertilizer (aka sheeeeet to our deepest longing) to our heartbreak and through it we cultivate a ground of joy and receptivity that ALLOWS us to draw that same experience to us, again. So by feeling our missing, and becoming grateful for this deep feeling, we allow the energy and the feeling sense of it to HAPPEN again in our lives. We literally invite connection to us by feeling it in the present for how it existed in the past which transforms us NOW. What happened in the past, what’s behind us, sets us FREE to experience joy and fullness again and again. I know you can do this. I’ve seen you have and reach for what you’ve wanted before, and you can do it again, now. I DARE you!!!